Discernment of Spirits: The Hidden Secret of the Consciousness Examen

Upon his recovery from battle wounds, St Ignatius of Loyola hung his military accoutrements before the image of the Virgin of Montserrat.

L

uís Gonçalves da Câmara SJ lived closely with St Ignatius of Loyola in Rome and recorded his conversations, actions, and personal remarks. Da Câmara recounts a conversation between Ignatius and his doctor. The doctor had advised his patient to avoid melancholy because it would be harmful to his health. Reflecting on this, Ignatius replied:

"I have considered what might cause me melancholy, and I have not found anything, except if the Pope were completely to undo the Society: and even this, I think, if I were to recollect myself in prayer for a quarter of an hour, I would be as happy as before, and even more so." (Remembering Iñigo: Glimpses of the Life of Saint Ignatius of Loyola, p 110, no 182)

I find this to be a very revealing moment in the life of St Ignatius. It presents to us a very human Ignatius. He did not pretend to be unaffected by everything. He did not claim that nothing could disturb him. When he searched his heart, he found one thing that would truly sadden him: the possibility that the Pope might dissolve the Society of Jesus.

That should not surprise us. Ignatius had poured his whole life into the Society. He had suffered for it, prayed for it, and entrusted everything to its mission. Naturally, the thought of its suppression would have caused him great sorrow. There is something deeply consoling in this admission. Even the saints have fears. Even the saints have attachments. Holiness does not mean having no feelings.

But what is even more remarkable is what Ignatius says next. He believed that fifteen minutes of recollected prayer would be enough for him to recover his peace—indeed, to become "as happy as before, and even more so." His deepest attachment was never the Society itself, but the God who had called the Society into being. His joy rested not in the survival of his own work but in the loving will of God.

Notice a striking movement within Ignatius. What began as a thought of melancholy became, after fifteen minutes of prayer, a deeper happiness. What kind of happiness was this? I believe it was the happiness of no longer needing to control the future of the Society. He discovered that its future did not ultimately rest in his hands, but in the safest place possible: the hands of God.

We are reminded here of Viktor Frankl, the Austrian psychiatrist, who beautifully echoes what Ignatius discovered. In the preface to Man's Search for Meaning, Frankl writes: “Don’t aim at success—the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue… as the unintended side-effect of one’s personal dedication to a course greater than oneself.”

To me, this story offers an important clue to the hidden secret of the Examen.

The Examen is not about denying our feelings but about facing them honestly before God. Ignatius did not hide what frightened him most. He searched his heart and named it. That, in itself, is already a beautiful example of the Examen. One of its principal purposes is the discernment of spirits: to notice what moves our hearts, what gives us peace, what troubles us, and why.

Through prayer, his profound love for the Society and his inner freedom stand side by side without opposing each other. He continues to love the Society with all his heart, yet he is also able to surrender it completely into God's hands. Love and freedom are no longer rivals. They become one.

Perhaps this is the hidden secret of the Examen. It is not primarily an exercise in finding our faults. Rather, it is a prayer of becoming aware of where our hearts have become attached, anxious, fearful, or troubled, and then allowing God to restore our inner freedom. Like Ignatius, we discover what truly moves us, bring it honestly before the Lord, and gradually learn to hold even our deepest loves with open hands. Amen. Fr JM Manzano SJ